


" Of all the gin joints......"

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 02:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21500206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: A lapse in judgement, or a deliberate act. How do you cope with betrayal ?
Relationships: Kayleigh Kitson & John Redmond
Kudos: 8





	" Of all the gin joints......"

" Simon ?"

" No way it's a week long thing John, by the time he's asked all his bloody questions it'll take a bloody fortnight, then he'll forget every bloody thing "

" Helen then ?"

" Two words John, Margate " 

" That's one word Dave " 

" Titty Margate " Dave smiled .

" Oh aye I forgot " 

" She is never getting sent on a course with a free bar ever again "

" Cath had to put her to bed that night, if I remember correctly ? "

" Aye poor woman, on the wagon , then boom " look at these boys " Dave imitated Helen's high voice, as he pretended to flash his chest, like Helen had done.

" She is still mortified, she resigned you know ?"

" Over that ?" Dave said surprised. 

"Aye but Cath convinced her that the shopfloor would never know, so she stayed "

" That's why I need you John, you know more about what happens here than I ever do "

" So I'm not getting sent to Yorkshire then ?"

" Go pack John " Dave said smiling .

" I've no passport " 

" Out " Dave pointed to the door shaking his head.

" When ?" Kayleigh asked fastening her belt.

" Monday to Friday, I'll drive back on Friday so I'll be home, they're supplying a car, so this is yours for the week"

John looked towards Kayleigh, she was mouthing something and counting on her fingers, she looked at John with a sly smile .

" Can I ask ?" 

" In a minute John "

A minute passed.

" You can ask now "

" What are you doing ?"

" I was working out how much sex we have to have over the weekend to keep up our average "

Kayleigh looked at John , he was sitting open mouthed staring .

" Are you gigging on Saturday John ?"

" Eh no , Jim's in Amsterdam."

" Excellent that's that covered then " she looked at him and smiled.

John shook his head, thanked God for giving him such a wife and started the car.

" This average ?" 

" What about it ?" 

John looked towards Kayleigh, she was looking straight ahead, a broad grin on her face.

" What's it based on , other couples in their thirties? " 

" Oh no John that's not nearly enough "

John sat for a minute or two but Kayleigh said nothing else.

" So what did you base it on ?"

" We both wish we'd met ten or fifteen years ago, right ?"

" Right '

" I based it on that "

" On us being married for fifteen year ?"

" No still not enough " she was still smiling.

" Well what then ?" John raised his voice slightly. Just the reaction Kayleigh was aiming for.

" Well " she said turning to face him, " two or three times a week on average over say twelve years , all ads up " 

" I imagine it would " 

" So we have a lot to catch up on " 

" Catch up on what though ?"

" How many times a couple our age who had been married for twelve years would have done it by now "

" Jesus Kayleigh that must be ……….."

" I'm sorry Johnathan " Kayleigh said cupping her ear, " was that a complaint I heard there ?"

" A complaint ?, certainly not Missus Redmond , I wouldn't dare "

" Good boy " she patted his hand.

" So you got anything special you are going to do while I'm away ?" John asked as Kayleigh put his breakfast down to him.

" No sods law Mandy is away on a working course on Wednesday, so I won't see her, thought I'd visit Rose on Tuesday " 

" She'd love that "

" I said I'd run your mum to Zumba on Wednesday, then we're going for a coffee"

" Kieron here on Thursday isn't he ?"

" Aye he's gutted he won't see you till Friday, he's looking forward to staying here too, said thanks again when he phoned last night " 

" He's always welcome here, I like your Kieron he's a good un "

" Aye he is , just like you " 

They finished their breakfasts and tidied up.

" How's our average doing?"

" Still behind, why Johnathan? " 

" Have you done your hair yet ?"

" No why ?"

John smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. 

" We don't have time " Kayleigh smiled as she spoke..

" Yes we do " 

" Prove it " 

" Oh I will Kayleigh, I will " 

Kayleigh giggled as John grabbed her.

Kayleigh drove that morning, the two of them laughing and giggling, 

" I know I said be quick John bu…….?"

" Your wish is my command "

" Well I wished you'd have gotten me into second gear at least " 

" Count it as a half then "

" Mmmm I'll think about it "

John kissed Kayleigh goodbye in the car park, he hadn't known that the car would be there first thing, but it was, he decided to head off immediately, he put his hold all in the boot, kissed Kayleigh again and drove off blasting the horn as he disappeared.

Kayleigh smiled as she went into work, Friday wasn't that far away, was it.

" Well how was it today then ?" Kayleigh asked over the phone.

" Shite , same as yesterday "

" How is your room?" 

" Shite "

" Did you have dinner ?"

" Aye they have a magnificent Georgian dining room, original coving and ceiling rose, all gilt and gold leaf"

" How was the food " 

" Shite" 

" You are a miserable sod John Redmond " Kayleigh chuckled.

" Well everything is shite if your not with me "

" Oh that's lovely, John " 

" What you doing now ?"

" Getting comfortable after a hard shift"

" What, are you getting undressed slowly, shaking your hair loose, letting it cascade over the smooth silky skin of your naked shoulders as you gently start rolling your stockings down your, toned, smooth legs, your silk underwear showing each and every curve of your firm pert breasts, your lacy thong……"

" I'm in my flannelette lounging jammies, eating cheese on toast, and steeping my feet as my bunions are sore if you must know " she giggled 

" I preferred my version " 

" I'm sure you did, what you going to do tonight ?"

" Shower and bed probably "

" Better make it a cold one, pervert " 

" Night night love "

" Night darling "

" Night "

Wednesday was just as boring as the previous two days, the lecturer was monotone, John was fighting a constant battle to stay awake, some of the other attendees gave up fighting or lost.

" Thank christ we're doing group workshops tomorrow, we can move about a bit " one of the participants from the south east are said as they left the lecture room, his comment was greeted by murmurs of approval. 

" John, you coming to the bar tonight, we thought we'd make a start on our notes "

" Aye , what time ?" 

" Nine Ish'' 

" See you there then " John had dinner with some of the other group members, went to his room, got changed and phoned Kayleigh,

The " notes" got abandoned within minutes, and a drinking session started, John had one and made it last, he stayed in the bar though, the banter was good natured and funny, and he was glad he did.

He saw her walk to the bar, he'd recognise her anywhere,she ordered her usual drink, she had a quick look around, obviously didn't see John and sat on one of the stools.

" You're staring John " 

" Eh , what Stan ?".

" I said your staring at that leggy bird, if you fancy her go try your luck " Stan said as he not too subtly winked at the others at the table.

John was aware of the looks he was getting, not many people at this management level knew he was married now, most of them still saw him as the fat loser, who never seemed to have a girl, or be with one " 

" You know I think I might " John put down his glass and walked confidently to the bar.

" Of all the gin joints ………"

" It's Bacardi John "

" I know it is Mand " he said as he sat on the stool next to her.

Mandy was looking in the mirror behind the bar,

" Your associates are staring, you didn't bet them you'd pick me up did you ?"

John related what had been said. Suddenly Mandy giggled, a high pitched loud giggle, as she did it, she put her hand on John's arm.

" What you doing, mad woman ?"

" Letting them think your on the pull "

" You doing your business course here I take it "

" Aye, bloody boring it's all spreadsheets and formulas, not my cuppa tea really "

" Well if you get stuck , I'm not too bad with Excel " 

" Good to know "

" Did you have dinner "

" Yes, but I'm a bit peckish now, do you have any nibbles in your room John ?"

" You know I'm not allowed nibbles, your sister has me on a diet "

" Do you have any nibbles in your room ?"

" Mandy I….."

" What goes on on course, stays on course, know what I mean "

" Just chocolate "

" Just ?" Mandy smiled, she knew John well.

" Chocolate, crisps, a few hobnobs, tea bags , travel kettle, nuts, toffee " 

One of John's colleagues chose this moment to come to the bar.

" What room are you in John ?"

" 101 "

" Give me a minute or two to get comfortable,and I'll meet you there, or do you want to come to mine"

" No mine is fine", 

"See you there then, I won't be long "

John's colleague about turned and headed to the table.

" Guys, guys you are never gonna believe this …….."

As the group made their way to their rooms, the few who had rooms on the second floor, heard John's deep laugh and a woman's giggle as they made their way along the corridor, they met each others look, with nods and winks.

" Did he really ?"

" As God is my witness, she's pulling a sheet around herself, saying it's best to confess Jim get it into the open, listening to her husband coming up the stairs right ?"

" Right "

" So she turns back around ' cause Jim hasn't said a word, and the windows open, and no Jim, so she looks out and here's Jim bollock naked, clothes in his hand running through the gardens, hurdling hedges like an albino Colin Jackson "

Mandy roared with laughter,

" I think I'm gonna wee John " 

" Don't you dare lady "

They looked at each other then shouted ,

" Diana " simultaneously.

Eventually the laughing died down.

" This has been nice John, I've enjoyed it" 

" Aye, it has been a nice night "

" Funny "

" What is Mand ?"

" Nothing "

" No go on, we're friends aren't we ?"

" I get on better with you than all Steve's siblings put together, why is that ?"

" You tell me "

" I think its because me and Kayleigh are so alike "

" And that means what exactly ?"

"What she sees in you, I see in you "

" That's a scary thought Mandy "

" True though, I love you like she does, but obviously not as much " 

" Obviously, that would be weird"

" And I trust you, completely, I mean I'm sitting on your bed next to you in nothing but a vest top and shorts, but I'm comfortable, because I know I can trust you, I don't know if that's good or bad , what do you think ?"

" It's good, if I had a sister Mandy, I'd want her brother in law to treat her like I treat you, and I'd hope she was like you, you're a good sister Mandy"

Suddenly Mandy grabbed Johns head and kissed him, pushing her tongue between his lips. John pushed her off, he looked at her shocked.

"What the fuck Mandy ?"

" What ?"

" You know full well what "

" Right I'm going to my bed now John, sweet dreams " Mandy said as she wiggled to the side of the bed.

" Thanks John " 

" What for ?"

" You didn't even try to kiss me back "

" Did you do that to test me ?" John was stunned. 

" Of course I did , ……..what other reason would I have for doing something like that, eh ?"

John just looked on puzzled.

" Night John "

John didn't sleep much that night, neither did Mandy.

She turned over and looked at the clock, 3.27 am. Less than 20 minutes since she last looked.

And once again she asked herself "what the hell have you done ?"

John was obviously shocked when she had kissed him, him pushing her away as quickly as he did, and the look of abject horror on his face , unmistakable signs. She didn't know why she had done it, there was no rhyme nor reason, but she had done it, she had kissed her big sisters husband, and if he had kissed her back ?, she didn't want to think of what might have happened. 

John was looking out the window, the moon was reflected in the small lake in the grounds, the noise of distant traffic only slightly quieter than the voice in his head. It had been sudden, too sudden, he had been taken completely by surprise, he liked Mandy, he had told her that, and she liked him, she had told him that, but that was it, he liked her, he didn't lust after her or fantasise about her she was just Mandy, his sister in law, she was or at least had been his friend. But now ?.

She had decided, as she stood in the shower trying to forget what she had done, she could do nothing but remember what she had done. John was an intelligent man, he would know that it wasn't a test, he knew full well that she had lost control, only for an instant but she had, she hated herself, and she knew that when she told Kayleigh, as she had decided to do, she would hate her too. Her life was shit. She would also have to make Steve see that John was blameless, it was her all her. Only the thought of her children stopped her from running away.

John chuckled to himself. Of course she had meant it as a joke, but he had been worried for a while, he had thought it through and it was obvious , Mandy would sooner be dead in a ditch than sleep with him, and deep down he knew that. Inwardly he sighed now that he had gotten things straight in his mind he felt better, she had had him going for a while, cheeky mare, but he'd get his own back, eventually.

She packed early and put her case in her car, sighted some alleged family crisis as a credible excuse, and excused herself from the rest of the course. As a smiling John headed towards the breakfast buffet, the blue Citroen was already on its way back to Lancashire.

The last of Mandy's group were leaving as John entered, he was in no hurry, at lunch he'd congratulate her on her prank, and tell her to expect revenge, somewhere sometime.

" I found out you're not long married, you should be ashamed " Stan said as John sat down.

" What you on about ?"

" You and that bird from last night, that's what "

" This bird ?" John said taking his phone from his pocket and pulling up a picture.

" Aye, that one " a disgusted Nigel piped up..

John expanded the picture, it was a group shot of him, Kayleigh, Steve and Mandy at a function. 

" That you gullible twats is my sister in law, she's with the other group doing a course here, it was a bleedin' wind up "

" You shit Redmond, you utter shit "

" Nigel ?"

" What Stan ?"

" I'll have me tenner back then "

" Did you have a bet on me pulling ?" John asked incredulously. 

" Aye "Nigel said delving into his wallet.

" Shame on you " John chuckled. 

The group laughed and normal service was resumed. 

She had reached the little Bolton semi about an hour ago, but had driven passed and parked up. She didn't have a clue what she was going to say, Kayleigh had a short fuse, and what she was about to tell her was most definitely a case of light the blue touch paper and stand well back. It might get physical, she hoped not, if it did she decided, she would only fight back enough to save herself from a real beating, truth be told she deserved a slap or two, in her mind anyway.

She took a few deep breaths and got out the car. Her legs felt like jelly as she walked up the drive.

" Why ?" Kayleigh asked through her tears." You're the one person on this earth apart from my John and our Kieron who I completely trust and you do this to me?"

Kayleigh lunged at the table Mandy was sitting at and hammered her fist on it.

" Why Mandy, answer me ?"

Mandy looked up at her obviously heartbroken sister,

" Impulse or something, I truly don't know"

" Did he lead you on ?" Kayleigh snarled. 

" He did nowt Kayleigh, bar talk to me as a friend, he listened, he cares, he was just being I don't know ,……., he was just being John " Mandy shrugged.

" Perfect, do you know that Mandy, until you arrived here today to tell me this, my life was nigh on perfect ?"

" I'm sorry "

" And that makes it better does it ?, eh does it ?"

" No "

" Too effing right it doesn't Mandy "

" John ……." 

" Don't drag him into this , go ……" Kayleigh pointed out the door.

" Listen to me ……"

" No " Kayleigh roared " you listen to me Mandy and you listen good, get out my house now, and if you want to stay in one piece I suggest you stay the fuck out of my life, permanently "

" Kayleigh.."

" If you want this kept between the three of us, which I assume you do, you will shut up, get up and walk away, while you can ?"

" But……"

" I won't say it twice " Kayleigh was shaking with temper.

Mandy saw the rage burning behind Kayleigh's eyes, it was a sight she had seen before, it frightened her, she knew there was no reasoning with an enraged Kayleigh. She lifted her bag and walked to the door, as she reached it, she hesitated. She was about to apologise again ,that's when she heard Kayleigh wail in anguish and burst out crying, Mandy walked away feeling two inches high.. 

" Excuse me, are you on the course with Missus Price ?" John asked the bespectacled woman at the lunch buffet.

" May I ask why you want to know ?" She replied politely. 

" I'm her brother in law, John, I haven't seen her today, that's all "

" She went home lovey, some emergency at home, I thought you would have known ?"

" She never said, thank you "

" You're welcome love, hope everything is alright "

" Thanks again " John said, he was beginning to get worried now.

" Did you tell Steve ?" Kieron asked as he sipped his tea at Kayleigh's kitchen table.

" Christ no , I told her I'd keep it between the three of us "

" And me " Kieron smiled.

" And you, little brother " Kayleigh wiped a tear away as she spoke, " I need someone to tell "

" Was she pissed? " 

" Would that make it more acceptable ?"

" Of course not, the whole thing is reprehensible, but being pissed would at least be a reason, not an excuse "

" She was stone cold sober, and that's worse, she had had one drink "

" But she has told you, she came clean about it, that must count for something?"

" Don't you dare try to defend her Kieron, she was bang out of order "

" I'm not Kayleigh honestly, but you've got to admit it took muchos cajones to look you in the eye and tell you, I'd be bricking it "

" Any other woman Kieron and I might have lost it, but …….." 

" She's your sister "

" Was , we're through "

" I'll see if I can find out what she was thinking "

" You're not serious going to visit that two faced b….."

" She's my sister too Kayleigh, just like you "

" But ……."

" I've told you before I've no favourite " 

" You hate us both equally " Kayleigh smiled.

" It'll be fine, Kitty you'll see "

" If he had, do you think she'd still have told me ?"

" Had what babe ?"

" Kissed her back "

" Probably, they would both have to keep that secret, and I don't think John could"

" His conscience wouldn't let him "

" Too true, it would eat away at him, he would have to tell you "

" I don't know, is that it, that's all you've got, you don't know? " An incredulous Kieron stood staring at his sister.

" Kieron it happened, I didn't think to myself go on Mandy, give him one, it just happened, I was as surprised as he was , almost "

" You and Steve still not getting on ?"

" No, we're civil for the kids, but that's it "

" And John listened to you, was sympathetic ? "

" I'm an idiot I know " 

" Kayleigh's spitting feathers, this will take time to heal "

" Will it heal though ?"

" Eventually, you know it will, we're blood " Kieron smiled.

" He isn't " 

" True, but he didn't do anything wrong did he ?"

" Not a thing " Mandy said shaking her head.

" What a mess Mand "

" Has John spoken to her ?"

" He phoned last night, like he does every night, he wanted to check you were alright ?"

" Me ?"

" Family emergency? "

" Oh that "

" He didn't mention it, the kiss I mean, well not yet anyway " Kieron sighed .

" He will though, won't he ?"

" You know he will Mandy , they don't keep secrets "

" When is he home ?"

" About now " Kieron said looking at his watch.

" Stay for supper Kieron, give them a little time eh ?"

"Good idea Mandy, let the dust settle eh ?"

" Maybe you wanted it eh, that's why you didn't say, you enjoyed it, having her throwing herself at you, you loved every effing second didn't you ?"

" I thought it was a joke, like I said , I thought she was joking "

" Maybe I'm the joke, poor ditzy Kayleigh what she doesn't know wont hurt her, is that it, maybe our whole relationship is a joke to you, our marriage, our life, the whole effing thing eh, just one big effin joke ?"

John stared at Kayleigh. 

" I'm talking to you John "

" No you're shouting at me "

" You need to grow a pair " Kayleigh snarled. 

" And you need to shut the fuck up, and listen for once in your life "

" You…….."

" FUCKING LISTEN TO ME " John roared,at a shocked Kayleigh. 

John had never shouted at Kayleigh before, towards perhaps, but never ever to her directly, and definitely not right in her face, she stepped back.

" I come in glad to get home to you, worried that there might be a problem in the family that you're keeping from me,I've been worried sick, and you bloody ambush me wi this shite "

" Shite huh ?" Kayleigh crossed her arms angrily.

" I thought it was one of her stupid jokes "

" Snogging you as a joke, are you sick ?"

" A kiss " 

" Why would she do that as a joke, eh ?"

" Ask her I don't know, and I really don't care, but I wasn't interested joke or not " 

" Why didn't you say as soon as you came in ?"

" I didn't get an effing chance, you were down my throat as soon as I got in the effing door, or did you forget that ?"

" You could have said something "

"Like what , Hi Kayleigh nice to be home, oh by the way Mandy and me kissed when we were sitting in bed, the course was…………..?"

" BED , you were in bed ?"

"Eh ?"

" Were you in bed with my sister ?"

" Not in, no we were on it, not in it "

" What the fuck is wrong with you ? " Kayleigh burst into tears and ran upstairs.

John stood for a few minutes, then headed up after her .

She had stopped crying when he went in but she was still sobbing.

" Do you trust me ?" John said as he sat on the end of the bed.

Kayleigh shrugged.

" Thanks for nothing " he got up and headed back out the door.

" Yes, of course I do " she eventually said before he reached the hall.

" Will you sit and listen to me please, hear me out, then I'll answer any questions okay ?"

" Okay "

John told Kayleigh the whole story from talking at the bar, until Mandy went to bed, and uncharacteristically Kayleigh said nothing throughout.

"........................ and I was relieved when I worked out the cheeky mare was winding me up again "

" She wasn't " Kayleigh said, " she meant it "

" Nah,, it was a joke love "

" She told me John"

" I know she did, you said earlier" John smiled.

" I mean she told me she meant it, she wanted to kiss you there and then, she wanted you "

" God almighty, how could she think that I…….., I would never ever , as God is my witness, I'd never……."

" I know you wouldn't, deep down I know you're completely blameless, it just that I sort of ,I don't know …………"

" Feel betrayed ?"

" Exactly, one of the two people I trust most in the world let's me down, it hurts "

" Only one let you down love " 

" C' mere John I need a hug " 

" Your wish is my command " John said as he did a swallow dive onto the bed.

After a serious hug, and a subtle snogging session, they lay quietly contemplating the last hour or so.

" I do trust you John "

" Good to know"

" So I know you'll be honest if I ask you something "

" Okay then "

" What were your feelings when she kissed you ?"

" Hurt "

" Hurt ?" 

" I felt hurt for you that she didn't respect you "

" I don't get it "

" At that moment, before I realised she was joking ……"

" She wasn't "

" I thought she was , anyway I felt that she had no respect for your feelings, and how you would be affected."

" Anything else ?"

" Shit scared " 

Kayleigh giggled, that was what she would expect of John, he was one in a million.

" Will you forgive her through time, after all, nothing really happened? "

" Of course I will, her and Steve are going through a bad spell, she felt close to you, and you're such a nice guy she just wanted to feel wanted "

" We could have just talked more her and I, I would have listened "

Kayleigh got up and stretched,

" Want a coffee John? " 

"Yes thanks" 

Kayleigh walked to the door ,

" Anyway I'll need her for a babysitter soon won't I " 

Kayleigh stood in the hallway for a few seconds, then looked back in the room .

She could see the sudden realisation hit him.

" Babysitter, are we gonna, I mean are you, babysitter for us………..?"

Kayleigh nodded a huge grin on her face .

" Yee ha " John shouted as he ran over and lifted Kayleigh up.

Kayleigh giggled.

" Oh sorry " John said setting her gently down, " sorry "he repeated talking to Kayleigh's midriff, " daddy needs to calm down a bit "

" Who have you told ?"

" Just you , Perhaps we should go over any tell, Mandy and Kieron together eh ? " Kayleigh said.

" That would be nice , love , I'm sure she'd appreciate the gesture "

" But if she as much as holds your hand, I'll have her "

" You can't go about fighting in your condition "

" Wanna bet ?" 

John shook his head as Kayleigh looked out a jacket, the Kitsons were slightly mad, every single one of them fruit loops.


End file.
